


The Ups and Downs of Deep Denial

by deer_lovely_lily



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deer_lovely_lily/pseuds/deer_lovely_lily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Potter was in love with her and it broke his heart. <br/>Lily Evans was in love with him and it scared her to death. <br/>But what neither James nor Lily had realised was that theirs was never really going to be an unrequited love story.</p><p>Entering their 6th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the students are becoming more aware of the threat of war that is starting to loom over the Wizarding World. Whispers of secret societies and uncovered conspiracies float around the school, and the pressure is high as the young students begin to realise that they are all going to have to pick a side, between what is right and what is easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Define Family?

“LILY!” Petunia’s shrill voice shook Lily from her state of blissful unconsciousness. She rubbed the blurriness from her eyes and glanced at the clock resting on her bedside table. The hands pointed at 7:05am. _7:05 in the bloody morning, Petunia_. She rolled her eyes before angrily grabbing one of her pillows and smothering her face with it in an attempt to block out Petunia’s incessant yelling. The desired effect was not achieved however, as she heard footsteps join the shouting, both of which were becoming louder and louder until finally her door burst open.

“Lily, are you completely deaf?” Petunia stood in the doorway, not bothering to disguise the annoyance in her voice. Lily dragged the pillow away from her face and stared at the ceiling, trying to control the urge to throw something very heavy at her beloved sister.

“What do you want Petunia?” she said in a strained voice.

“What…” Petunia began in a low voice “did you do... to my room?” There was a forced slowness to her words and Lily actually sat up in surprise at how threatening it sounded. Petunia was glaring at her with sharp eyes, her knuckles white as she choked the door handle in her anger. It took Lily a couple of seconds in her morning grogginess for the memories of her little practical joke to come back to her.

“Oh” she breathed, her mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ shape as she attempted to keep the smirk from pulling on her lips.

“Oh?” said Petunia, her voice beginning to rise again. “Is that really all you can say?” Lily’s lips were beginning to fail her so she reached for the pillow again, quickly pulling it over her face and falling back onto her mattress. Under the safety of her pillow barricade she managed to stifle a few giggles, but unfortunately for her they didn’t go amiss by her sister. “Lily!” she heard Petunia swing the door wide open and step into her room. _Oh dear lord, not again_ she thought to herself, remembering the method Petunia had become fond of using as way of getting Lily out of bed. The inevitable happened and her door began to loudly and repeatedly slam itself shut. “Get! Up! You! _Freak!_ ” She slammed the door shut with each word she yelled. Lily rolled over and moaned, her hands still clutching the pillow over her head. “Don’t go back to sleep you little brat!” yelled Petunia indignantly, dropping the door-slamming technique and lunging forwards to tug the pillow from Lily’s grasp. Before Lily could say anything, her sister sprung the curtains apart and allowed the glaring morning light to spill into her bedroom and temporarily render her blind.

“Petunia, get out of my room!” Lily yelled thickly, grabbing another pillow and throwing it forcefully in the direction from which the sunlight was coming. As her eyesight began to come back to her she was pleased to see that her target had been hit.

“Not until you get rid of all the _frogs_ in my room!” countered Petunia, throwing the pillow back at Lily during the emphasis of her argument. “They’re _multiplying_ Lily!” she shrieked hysterically. “I don’t want your disgusting little creations hopping around my room at seven o'clock in the morning!”

“Yeah well I thought you’d enjoy having a few amphibian friends!” Lily yelled back, throwing her duvet away from her and swinging her legs over so she was sat on the edge of her bed. “You were the one who said you’d rather live in a ditch than live with a freak! You should be careful what you wish for, Tuney!” Petunia glared at her.

“Fix it or I’ll tell dad!” she said furiously.

“He probably already knows due to the fact that you’re _screaming the entire house down!_ ” And with that Lily got up, snatched her wand up from her desk and stormed out of the room. She threw the door to Petunia’s room open, stood and admired her spell work in appreciation for a few moments before reluctantly muttering the counter-spell and shutting the door again. She turned back to her room to find Petunia lurking by the door with a slight trace of awe on her face. That quickly disappeared when she noticed Lily looking at her, and she pushed off the wall and walked past her with her nose turned up.

“Thanks,” she murmured, as she opened her door. Just as she was about to close it again Lily spun around.

“Petunia!” she said quickly and her sister faltered and looked at her expectantly. “They were toads actually.” she said, smirking. Petunia’s face didn’t however break into a smile. She rolled her eyes and shut her door impatiently. Lily wandered back to her room to find 4 owls perched on the windowsill, a few of which were hooting and tapping their beaks insistently on the glass. She raised an eyebrow quizzically at them.

“Okay…” she said slowly. She walked over and unlatched the window to let them in, swiftly ducking out of the way as they all swooped gracefully over her head. She watched them circle the room for a moment as they tried to find a good place to perch. One simply flew in, dropped the letter it carried onto Lily’s bed and flew straight out again. Another one (a rather small one with grey fluffed up feathers) continued to flap around the room, apparently unable to find a sufficient spot to sit. Lily smiled amusedly and offered it her arm, which it gladly took. It ruffled its feathers and stuck its leg out to show her the fastened letter, which was rustling about as the bird continued to groom itself. As soon as she unfastened the string, the owl hopped up her arm and on to her shoulder, where it began to nibble her hair. With both hands now free Lily carefully tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter incased inside it. She recognized the handwriting immediately as her friend Marlene’s, and she couldn’t help but smile just at the sight of it.

_Dearest Lily,_

_How is my favourite person in the world? By that you do know that I was talking about your lovely sister, right? (Note the sarcasm…)_ _Seriously though, how are you holding up? I’ve only seen you two together during that one week I stayed at yours last summer and trust me; it wasn’t pretty._

_I’m so sorry I couldn’t send you anything sooner! As you know I’ve been in Cornwall for the past two weeks (and yes I went with James’ family, I do every year; don't pretend you weren't thinking it!) which was nice but it means that this has probably arrived late because my thick little baby owl here gets very confused-by the time he finally arrived with my letter from Mary I had already just assumed that he had flown into a tree or something and popped his clogs. (Yes I did just write that, don’t laugh I’ve only been around old relatives for a week and I’ve already adopted their language)_

_I’ll probably be back by the time you read this and it would be great to see you, because I miss you terribly. Don’t get cocky; I think the fact that I’m forced to spend so much time with you at school has made me used to having you around so I suppose that’s why… In all seriousness though, you have to reply quickly because I need to get out of this house! Casper is showing signs of magic again; he made three juice cartons explode over everyone at breakfast yesterday and mum’s been going mad because Arthur and Sophie won’t stop playing Quidditch in the house (As much as I am proud of them they did steal my broom from the shed and very nearly broke it). She’s already quite stressed because of all this war business; she asked James and I to fetch the paper the other day but when we saw the headline it seemed rather bleak so we accidentally-on-purpose bought the Quibbler instead. She wasn’t very happy about it but she didn’t stay angry with us for long because Arthur managed to distract her by flying into the old grandfather clock in the hallway. It’s just the regular mayhem of the McKinnon household but I need to escape it and I need to escape it soon or I’m going to lose my head._

_Your desperate friend,_

_Marlene_

_P.s. Guess who says hi? I’m actually rolling my eyes; I don’t even need to tell you that it’s James._

Lily laughed as she read; every time she got a letter from Marlene it always made her smile. She scribbled down a reply; agreeing that they should absolutely meet up and asking her to tell Potter to bugger off. She made sure she didn’t forget to mention the toad incident, knowing that it would give Marlene a good laugh and tied the letter to the hooting owl on her shoulder. He pecked her ear fondly before fluttering out of the open window.

A loud familiar hoot caused her to spin around and acknowledge the two other birds in the room; one of which was her own, Nix. He was a handsome barn owl with smooth brown speckled feathers and inky black eyes. The bird next to him was a slightly larger owl with a heart shaped face, which almost gave it a rather sad expression as it gazed at Lily in polite curiosity. It had sooty grey feathers with a white face and it was clinging precariously to the slanted side of Nix’s cage, occasionally fluttering its wings whenever it began to slip.

“Hello boy” Lily stroked Nix’s beak affectionately which he then opened, tilting his head back expectantly. Lily smiled, dropping a treat into his mouth, which he swallowed in one go. Once she unhooked the letter attached to his leg, he began to sidestep along her chest of drawers towards his open cage. Lily followed him so as to greet the new bird, which cooed softly at her acknowledgment. She gently stroked it with the back of her finger, watching it slowly close its eyes and bow its head in approval. She handed it a treat and unfastened the envelope tied to its outstretched leg. Lily turned back towards her bed where the first owl had dropped its letter. She sat down and picked it up, examining it suspiciously. It was written in dark purple ink and it had a professional look about it. She cautiously tore it open and began to read the letter enclosed.

 

_Dear Ms. Evans_

_We have received intelligence that you performed an advanced conjuring charm at sixteen minutes past twelve this morning, conjuring up a total of 48 toads in the presence of a muggle. Although this is certainly very impressive and humourous magic, we are regretful to inform you that you have breached the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction for Underage Sorcery and we are therefore inclined to send you an official warning from the Ministry of Magic._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Improper Use of Magic Office, Ministry of Magic_

Lily scanned the letter over and over, not quite sure what to make of it. She slowly let it sink in that she'd just been sent a warning letter from the ministry for conjuring toads into her sister's room. Lily couldn’t help but laugh now. She knew this would end up being an interesting story to tell the others when she got back to school. She dropped the letter by her side and moved on to the letter that Nix had brought her.

She knew whom it was from seeing as the last person she had sent Nix to deliver a letter to was her friend and fellow prefect, Remus. She unfolded it and began to read.

_Lily,_

_I doubt you’ll be surprised in hearing that James was quite jealous when I received your letter earlier and there was no mention of him in it. I don’t really blame you though; anything you say could potentially boost his ego into overdrive. (Sirius read that aloud over my shoulder and I just got a shoe thrown at me.) Oh the joys of having such eloquent friends…_

_How has your summer been so far? James said Marlene mentioned meeting up with you at some point whilst they were in Cornwall, so maybe we should all meet in Diagon Alley? I know you’re probably still a bit pissed at James after what happened by the lake but obviously he’s really keen to make up, so you should still consider coming. Speaking of the lake incident, I hope you’re okay after everything that happened. I heard from Mary that Snape’s been hanging around near your house again… which is actually really creepy if you ask me. He’s not worth the trouble though; it may be a fairly depressing sight to see but he's a little shit and he doesn’t deserve you for a friend. Personally, I’m proud of you for resisting the urge to hex him but if you ask the boys they reckon he still deserves a good bat-bogey. (You should consider the bat-bogey idea, lovely Lily it’d be fantastic. Oh, and make sure you take a photograph, then the joy of it can last a lifetime! Sirius) He wouldn't leave me alone so there’s Sirius’ ever-so-helpful input on the situation._

_And of course James says hi._

_See you soon,_

_Remus_

Lily chuckled softly, picturing Remus elbowing a very persistent Sirius out of the way before shortly getting a shoe thrown at his head by an irritated James. Although the scene was amusing and brought a smile to her face, she was still stubbornly refusing to let that affect her current state of annoyance with James. The memory of the ‘lake incident’, as Remus had put it, was flooding back to her unpleasantly and she wasn’t in the mood to have those thoughts poison her mind again. She knew she would forgive James sooner rather than later, but she wanted him to suffer for a bit first, in the hope that he would try to change his attitude (and she was prepared to drag it out as long as she had to in order for him to see that). As for Severus, she didn’t even want to think about him. All that did was fill her head with the word ‘mudblood’ and she was sure she’d either end up hexing something in frustration or just completely breaking down; neither of which she wanted to do. The sweet smell of fresh pancakes was beginning to waft in through the crack in Lily’s door. She decided she would write back once she had eaten her breakfast, which was positively beckoning her to the kitchen. Placing Remus’ letter with the ministry warning, she left her room and went towards the kitchen, beginning to open the fourth letter as she went.

_Evans!_

_As you might have guessed, this is James. Or Potter. Just in case you forgot my first name for lack of use and got worried you received a letter from a complete stranger._

“Lily, do you want syrup on your pancakes?” Lily looked up at her mother as she entered the kitchen, taking her usual seat at the table and crossing her legs to avoid touching the cold floor.

“Yes please” she replied, temporarily putting James’ letter down next to her and reaching for the juice.

“What’ve you got there?” Petunia grabbed the letter from the table and held it up to her face to read.

“Give that back!” Lily said. Petunia held the parchment out of her reach as Lily made a jump for it.

“Is this from one of your freak friends?” Petunia sneered. Mrs. Evans sighed as she placed the pancakes on the table.

“Girls please-“

“Give it back you dirty thief!” Petunia stood on her chair, keeping the letter above her head as Lily made another grab.

“Ooh, who’s James?” Petunia teased, still holding the letter at arms length above her head. Lily climbed onto the table and furiously snatched it from her sister’s grip.

“Lily, off the table!” Mr. Evans swatted his youngest daughter upside the head with his rolled up newspaper.

“Try telling _her_ ,” Lily began indignantly, glaring at Petunia “to keep her hands off my stuff! Then I wouldn’t have to resort to jumping on the table in the first place.” She hopped off the table and stood angrily on her chair with her arms crossed, using her eyes to stab metaphorical knives into her sister, who was still standing on her own chair looking equally fuming.

“Girls for heaven’s sake, sit down!” said Mrs. Evans irritably. “Honestly, you should be old enough to avoid having such childish arguments by now.” Both sisters grudgingly obeyed under their mother’s deathly stare. “Petunia, don’t read your sister’s mail. Lily, I really don’t want your smelly feet on my table thank you very much.” Lily smirked and Petunia scowled but said nothing. Now that peace was momentarily restored to the table, Lily resumed her reading.

_Firstly I am writing this letter to formerly apologize to you. I know it doesn’t need explaining because you already know why you’re annoyed with me, but I was a prat. Please forgive me? Secondly, I know for a fact that you will have rolled your eyes at that previous request. In fact you have probably already started planning the rejection letter in your mind so I would like to try again._

_I really am sorry Evans. Please forgive me._

_Did it work second time around?_

_No?_

_Well, I suppose I’m just going to have to convince you in person then, aren't I? How about we all meet up this week? Marlene said she doesn’t mind if we (Sirius, Remus, Pete and I) join you two, as long as you’re fine with it. You should think about it. I really hope we can make up._

_By the way my owl’s name is Amicus. I suggest you become acquainted; he won’t leave until he has a response, so I suppose you had better get started on that rejection letter…_

_Yours most apologetically,_

_Potter_

Lily tried to hide her smile, mostly because next to where he had written ‘make up’ she could clearly see Sirius’ crossed out handwriting, conspicuously saying the words; ‘more like out’

 

* * *

 

_That evening_

Mudblood.

It only took one word after years of standing by and letting them not-so-subtly discriminate against people for Sirius to finally, _finally_ break. If this was what he had to live with, he’d rather live on the streets. He’d rather starve homeless than take shelter in this place.

He stormed up the stairs, his mind like white noise, and his blood pumping furiously through his veins. He couldn’t think straight but the only thought that seemed to register was _I need to get out of this house_. Throwing the door open, he seized his bag from under the bed and began hurling all the belongings he could find into it; books, clothes, photos. Anything he got hold of was tossed unceremoniously into the bag. Hastily fastening the clasps, he hauled it over his shoulder and took one last brief glance at his bedroom before closing the door and tearing down the narrow spiral staircase towards the front door.

Just as he reached for the doorknob, a firm hand took hold of his wrist. Sirius froze; the furious, heavy breathing of his father was dancing down the back of his neck making his heart suddenly stop beating for an agonizing moment of fear.

“What do you think you’re doing?” growled a low and vicious voice right beside his ear. Sirius took a long breath in and turned around so he was face to face with his glowering father.

“One of my friends is muggleborn.” He said in a threatening voice, trying to ignore the fact that his father’s grip was beginning to crush his wrist. “I’m not going to stick around and watch you spit out disgusting rubbish about blood status just because you think it’s so great to be part of a _'purer'_  family.” Orion Black’s eyes bore dangerously into his son’s, and it took all of Sirius' strength to glare back at him in repulsion.

“Sirius what are you-“

“I’m leaving Reg” Sirius interrupted his brother who had appeared by the staircase, and his face went from confusion to anger in a matter of seconds.

“You can’t leave!” said Regulus, his voice beginning to rise. “You have to stay here, you… mum said you’d disgrace the family if you ever did something like this, you have to stay here!” Sirius didn’t answer his brother but looked right back at his father in disgust.

“Look at what you’ve done to him!” He accused, his eyes widening in disbelief when his father gave no reaction, only tightened his hold on him. “He’s only _fourteen_ for fuck sake”

“Your mother will be distraught. You’re becoming the person she always feared you would!” Spat Orion, shaking his sons wrist in anger.

“Fantastic!” Shouted Sirius, though there was no trace of happiness in his voice. “She’s bloody mental anyway-“

“You are trying to taint this family!” Roared his father, taking a hold of Sirius’ shirt with his free hand and pushing him roughly against the front door. He vaguely heard his brother cry, _‘Stop it!’_

Sirius felt the back of his head crack painfully at the impact and he tried to ignore the hot blood beginning to drip slowly down his neck. “Messing with filthy mudbloods! You'd rather be a blood traitor than be part of this family?” Sirius kicked his father off him and grasped the doorknob.

“I’d rather be dead than be part of this family.” He said, trying to keep his voice from breaking. Glancing once more at Regulus whose eyes were filled with betrayal and hurt, he tried to give him a look that said _I'm sorry_. He opened the front door and stormed into the dark streets outside, slamming it shut behind him as he went. Sirius didn’t stop walking until he reached the end of the street. He leant against a flickering street lamp on the corner of the road, trying to catch his breath. His head was throbbing painfully and as he lifted his wrist into the light he found that it was beginning to bruise. All of his anger started to fade away as he came to terms with what had just happened; after all these years he had finally left home. He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small mirror, steadily holding it up so he could see his disheveled reflection.

“James” he said clearly, watching carefully as his own reflection began to fade.

 

* * *

 

“Padfoot?” James fished out his two-way mirror from his jean pocket, holding it level with his face as his best friend looked back at him. A jolt of horror shot through his stomach at the sight of him. “What the fuck happened?”

“I left” Sirius replied, a frown forming on his pale face, beads of blood making their way down the side of his neck. “I couldn’t stand it anymore” James’ eyes widened; he didn’t need him to explain any further.

“I’m getting dad.” He said urgently, dashing out of his bedroom and sprinting down the stairs.

“No, wait!” Sirius said suddenly from the mirror in James’ hand. James stopped half way down the staircase and held it up to his face again.

“Sirius, you’re bleeding and you have nowhere to go!” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “You can’t expect me to just keep letting you go back there after everything your dad has done to you?”

“No, just-“ Sirius faltered, glancing back towards his house in panic. “I don’t want any more confrontations. I don’t think my dad would hesitate to hurt anyone else.” James sighed and nodded.

“It’s okay, just stay calm,” he said, “I’m not going to leave you there though. Not again. Maybe you can stay here instead but you’re not going back there.” Sirius looked uneasy but he nodded and swallowed. James carried on running down the stairs and burst into the dining room, where his father was sat contently reading a book.

“James what are you-“

“Dad, Sirius ran away from home!” James quickly interrupted, breathing heavily after sprinting across the full length of their large house. Fleamont Potter stood up, dropping his book on the table as he did so.

“What?”

“Sirius. He ran away. I think his dad hurt him again. We need to get to him _now_.” James gasped urgently, clutching his side and holding up the mirror for his father to see, but the image of Sirius had gone. James cursed and held up the mirror to his face once more.

“What do you mean again?” his father frowned, taking his son’s arm gently to get his attention. James tensed, his eyes wide. _Damn._ He bit his lip and looked at the floor.

“Look, he made me swear not to tell-”

“James.”

“I know, I’m sorry! I wanted to tell you so badly but every time I was going to, he begged me not to and-“

“Never mind, we’ll talk later,” his father interrupted, shaking his head. “Just get Sirius back on the mirror. He might be in trouble.” James nodded and held the mirror up to his face again.

“Sirius” he said hurriedly, "Sirius Black!" His best friend quickly reappeared. Mr. Potter strode forwards and took the mirror from his son’s hand.

“Sirius where are you?” He asked, his voice steady.

“Uh, in London; at the end of Whistler Street I think” Sirius said, looking around; his surroundings had changed since James had spoken to him. Mr. Potter nodded.

“Is there somewhere for me to apparate to you?” He inquired, still keeping his voice firm and calm.

“There’re a few trees over here but it’s not much to go behind” Sirius said uncertainly.

“That’s just fine.” Said Mr. Potter. “Head towards them now, I’ll be over as soon as I can.” Sirius nodded and disappeared again.

“What’s going on?” Euphemia Potter’s voice sounded from the hallway. She hurried into the dining room where her husband and son stood with grim expressions. “James I heard you shouting from all the way upstairs”

“Ma Sirius ran away,” said her son, pocketing the mirror and glancing at his dad.

“What?” Mrs. Potters’ eyes grew wide with fear. “Is he safe?”

“He’s out in London now” Mr. Potter informed her, throwing his jacket on.

“Don’t worry Mia, I’m going to fetch him,” he said in response to her anxious expression, quickly pecking her on the cheek as he made his way towards the front door.

 

James and his mother sat on the steps in the entrance hall for what felt like hours, though really it couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes. James could feel her shaking slightly and his own anxiety was keeping him from staying very still himself. He tangled his fingers in his hair and closed his eyes.

“Is he hurt?” Euphemia’s quiet, unsteady voice broke the silence. James bit his lip and pulled his hands away from his head slowly. He opened his eyes and nodded, not looking at her. She took in a long shaky breath, probably trying to calm herself down. There were a few moments of heavy silence. 

“I should’ve done something sooner.” James had been thinking it the moment he saw Sirius’ broken expression in the mirror. He felt terrible for not doing anything about it before now. Of course he’d tried to but Sirius had stubbornly told him to leave it. James had always felt helpless about the whole thing; torn between doing what is right or betraying his best friend’s trust.

“It’s not your fault James.” Mrs. Potter put her arm around him, and he felt his eyes sting. He took off his glasses and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. Just then the door opened and Mr. Potter and Sirius emerged from the black night outside.

“Padfoot.” James shot up and sprinted forwards, pulling his friend in to a tight hug. It felt almost like a childish thing to do but James didn’t care. Sirius dropped his bag and hugged him in return. He gave him a lopsided grin when they pulled apart, though it looked more like a grimace because of all the pain he was in from his injuries. He was trying to lift the mood, make it seem like everything was fine, when in realty James knew he was probably struggling to convince even himself.

“I’m okay” he managed, his eyes a little unfocused from the injury on his head.

“Sirius,” Mrs. Potter came over to them and gave him another hug, as a mother would her child; like she would give anything to make sure no harm would come to him again. He was almost taller than her and when she put her arms around him, his mask fell away, leaving behind the face of a boy whose emotions had been strung out to unbelievable lengths. He buried his face in her shoulder and broke down, his own shoulders shaking softly.

“You’re safe” Euphemia whispered, holding the back of his head with her delicate hand and keeping him tight to her. “You never have to go back there”

 

Later that evening Sirius and James sat cross-legged on either end of James’ bed, throwing between them an old quaffle. Sirius had been given his own room but hadn’t been able to sleep, so James had stayed up to keep him company. He thought that was the least he could do after what Sirius had been through these past few hours. They had spent most of the evening in silence, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. James didn’t want to force Sirius in to talking. He knew that if Sirius wanted to talk about personal issues, he would be the one to initiate it. He was the type of person who hated talking about touchy subjects, and if he ever did talk, he always wanted to be the one in complete control, in case the conversation strayed into more 'personal' territory. So after a while it was Sirius who spoke into the silence.

“Regulus was the only reason I had never left before,” He passed the ball from one hand to the other a couple of times before throwing back to James. “Now I’ve just abandoned him.”

“It’s okay mate,” James consoled, “They have no reason to hurt him”

“Yet.” Said Sirius with a frown. He waited a couple of seconds before he continued, “What if dad ends up trying to find an excuse to?” he said bitterly. James knew Sirius was going to end up doing something stupid if he got pushed too far emotionally. He tried to think of a reasonable response to calm him down, but his stomach was twisting with anxiety for Sirius’ little brother.

“Your parents dote on him,” he began. “And if anything does happen to him, we’ll make sure he gets away from them. I promise.” Sirius caught the ball and turned it in his hands, the ever-present frown still gracing his brows. “Padfoot…” James hesitated. “Are you sure you don’t want to press charges? Or at least tell anyone else?” Sirius shook his head, closing his eyes for a little longer than a blink.

“No… It’s only happened twice before now and it's not like I didn’t ever hit him back. If he did anything to Reg though… then I would reconsider.” James nodded and a silence fell between them for a moment. He wanted Sirius to tell someone other than him and he would've said, but it was late and he could tell the heavy topic of this conversation was wearing both of them quite thin. In the end they sat there until the early hours of the morning, which was when sleep finally came to them. Euphemia them that morning sleeping head to toe like brothers. Not a trace of consciousness appeared in either until golden beams of afternoon sunlight began to creep over their heads.

 

* * *

 

FINALLY. this first chapter took bloody ages, oh my rowling. i don't know if it's any good but if you enjoyed it let me know!

look out for the next chapter soon... ish

i want to get ahead a few chapters before i post each one so i can alter any small changes i might make more easily but it shouldn't take too long for the 2nd to arrive

but thank you so much for reading!

molly

 


	2. A Reunion, of Sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter doesn't have a whole lot going on, but it's mainly just to give an idea of some of the characters' backgrounds/home lives (which may seem a bit tedious but trust me, it will help set things up for the story later on). That's not to say there isn't any drama in this chapter. There's always drama when it come to this lot.
> 
> anyway, enjoy!

 

 

_Two Days Later_

 

“Mum I’m leaving!” Marlene stood by the front door waiting for some response from the chaos upstairs.

“What do you mean ‘your leaving’?” called her mother as she made her way down the stairs with a basket full of clothes under her arm. Marlene sighed.

“I told you yesterday I-“

“Arthur! Stop putting honey on your brother!” Mrs. McKinnon set down the washing and flicked her wand in the direction of her bickering sons, causing the honey jar to fly out of their hands and into her own.  “Sorry Mar, what were you saying?”

“I was just saying that I’m-“

“CASPER!” Sophie’s scream from upstairs interrupted her this time. Marlene rolled her eyes; _does anybody ever shut up in this house?_ She thought impatiently. “Mum, Casper’s throwing up on my bed!” Sophie screeched.

“Oh Merlin.” Mrs. McKinnon sighed, closing her eyes and rubbed her forehead tiredly.

“When will dad be home again?” asked Marlene uncertainly, folding her arms and leaning against the banister. Her father had been abroad doing ministry work for the protection of muggles during the past week and a half, and therefore the usual anarchy of the house had reached an all-time high.

“Next week hopefully” she replied, picking up the washing again. “So, you’re meeting your friends in Diagon alley?” Marlene raised her eyebrows, surprised her mother had actually remembered.

“Uh, yeah I was just leaving now” she pointed her thumb in the direction of the door behind her. Mrs. McKinnon smiled and gave her a one armed hug.

“Be back by 8 o’clock” Marlene nodded before glancing up the stairs.

“See you later!” she shouted as she opened the front door.

“BYE MARLS!”

“Bye- MERLIN, MUM HE’S DOING IT  _AGAIN_!” Marlene stifled a laugh at her sister’s horrified screams and wished her mother luck before closing the door behind her.

She felt for her book list in her pocket to find that she had thankfully remembered it. She was reminded of how Sirius' head had appeared in her fireplace that morning (which had almost given her a heart attack) to ask if she'd gotten her book list that day.

 

_"Good" he said, "We got ours at breakfast this morning so we can all get our books for school later"_

_"I hope you've been made a prefect" She joked, in a serious voice not unlike her mother's. He smirked and shook his head._

_"Alas no, but Moony is still holding that title high and proud" There was a muffled voice from behind him, to which he rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, and James was made Quidditch Captain" He muttered. Just then James' grinning face appeared next to his._

_"Yes, I'd like to thank my family, my friends,_ Sirius _who unfortunately didn't quite make the cut-" He'd began before disappearing again in fits of laughter, after being pushed back by a grumpy looking Sirius._

_"He hasn't shut up all morning" he muttered._

_"Well, I suppose training sessions are going to be interesting this year" Marlene said thoughtfully. The team being run by James could only go one of two ways; either brilliantly or catastrophically. There was no_ _in-between.  
_

_"Yeah, well" Said Sirius rolling his eyes yet another time. "Let's hope he doesn't fuck it up, eh?"_

 

She checked her watch; she had plenty of time. The only reason she had left so early was because ‘alone time’ was a hard thing to come by in the McKinnon household. As much as Marlene loved her family, there was always so much going on; there was never a peaceful moment. So she sometimes liked to take strolls through London. It gave her a chance to gather her thoughts and take a break from helping around the house. How her mother dealt with it whilst Marlene was at school she had no idea but for her, just over 5 weeks was _more_ than enough.

 

_"We can always rub it in his face if he does fuck it up" Marlene suggested._

_"Very true!" he grinned, and turned his head to the side, "Hear that Prongs? You feeling the pressure yet?"_

_"Bitter much?" came James' teasing voice from behind him._

 

With the holidays nearly over, she would return to Hogwarts again, and the twins, Arthur and Sophie, would be going with her. She wasn’t certain how they were going to get on at school but she was sure they were inevitably going to end up in a lot a trouble at some point. She was going to have to keep an eye on them to make sure they didn’t do anything stupid.

 

_"Excuse me," Sirius said, "I might have to leave for a minute so I can hex Prongs over here"_

_"Take your time" Marlene replied, casually. "Don't use the leg locker one though, I'm saving that for when I see him later" Sirius snorted._

_"What did he do?"_

_"He messed up my room in Cornwall"_

_"That's a terrible excuse to hex him McKinnon" Marlene shrugged, standing up._

_"What can I say? It's my duty to bully him, he's like the annoying brother I never needed"_

_"Snap!" He said in faux amazement, and James' muffled voice came from behind him again. Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned around again. "Yeah yeah, you can say we love you all you like, it doesn't make what we say any less true," he said before turning back to Marlene. "I'll see you later McKinnon, I think James is having an emotional break down over here."_

 

At least Marlene would’ve already left by the time Casper and David were old enough to go to Hogwarts, and for that she was grateful; they really were a handful.

Actually, make that an armful. 

...Or maybe even a bucketful.

  

* * *

 

Lily stood motionless outside her sister’s room, her knuckle raised to the door. She had rushed towards Petunia’s room, giddy with an idea that had just materialized in her head. However just as she was about to knock, she had faltered. This was a bad idea. She stared at the door anxiously, wondering why this seemed like such a big deal to her anyway. Petunia would just turn her down without so much as batting an eyelash.

Knock, knock, knock.

 _Shit._ Lily inwardly cursed her apparent inability to control her hand.

“What is it?” Petunia’s voice sounded from inside. Lily took a deep breath and opened the door by a sliver.

“Hey Tuney,”

“Oh, it’s you,” Petunia was lying on her front atop her bed, a hardback book in her hand. Her blonde hair was curled and half pinned back, and she was wearing her favourite skirt with a red top. Her boot covered legs were crossed in the air. Lily rolled her eyes at her sister’s remark.

“Look, can I ask you something?” She said, ever so slightly nudging the door open. Petunia looked up from her page with a skeptical look.

“Why, what have you done?” She asked suspiciously. Lily crossed her arms indignantly.

“Nothing!” She started wandering into the room. Petunia put her book face down on the bed and sat up.

“I never said you could come in” she said harshly. Lily ignored her completely, settling herself on her sister’s desk and picking up one of the ugly dolls sitting on the shelf.

“Listen, I’m going out with a couple of friends later-“

“Great, do you want a sticker?” Petunia deadpanned, picking up her book again. Lily looked up from the doll and glared at her.

"You going to let me finish?" She asked with her eyebrows raised. Petunia shrugged without taking her eyes off the book in her hands.

“Go on then.” She muttered. _Oh, this is going to be fun_ Lily thought sarcastically.

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with us?” She fiddled with the dolls hair anxiously as she tried to determine Petunia’s expression. Her eyes were still on her book but they were motionless now, just staring blankly at the page.

“You could meet my friends, I've always wanted them to meet you. We’re going to Diagon Alley,” Lily continued, her confidence beginning to grow, though Petunia had said nothing. “It’s where I get all my books for school and I think you’d really like it! There’s an ice cream parlour and a shop that sells Quidditch supplies and-“

“Get out Lily.” Petunia said suddenly, her eyes still determinedly stuck on her book.

“Sorry?” said Lily, taken aback. Petunia looked up at her with deathly eyes.

“I said get out. Are you deaf? I’m trying to read.” She said, gripping her book tightly. Lily blinked at her sister in confusion. _Why is she reading anyway?_ Lily thought, _She hates reading._

“Tuney I just wanted you to see-“ Petunia slammed her book down on the bedside table making Lily jump.

“I don’t care.” She said forcefully, and Lily could see a frown forming on her brow and her eyes were sparkling with the threat of tears. “I know what you’re doing.” She said in a weak voice. “Trying to show me how you have this great life that I’ll _never_ be able to have. You always talk about it, like you’d rather be a part of that life than a part of mine!” Lily looked at her in shock.

“Petunia…it was never about that” said Lily, hurt. “I wanted you to be a part of it as much as you did! That's why I asked if you wanted to come in the first place!” Petunia scoffed in disbelief, any trace of tears gone now.

“Why would I want to be a part of your life _now_?” she asked heatedly. “You’re a _freak!_ ” Lily felt her eyes sting and she desperately tried to blink back the tears threatening to fall. “Lily, stop it. Every time you come back here I can see how much you want to go back to that school of yours. I’m sure you love it but I have a life too, I don’t want be constantly reminded of how much better yours is.” Petunia stood up and folded her arms. “But I suppose you wouldn’t care about _my_ life would you? Freaks like you don’t need to worry about their boring families because you’ve got everything you could ever need at that stupid-“

“ _I’m not a freak, Petunia!_ ” Lily said loudly, anger and frustration clinging to her words. “Stop calling me that! Why do you have to always call me that?” She threw the doll onto the desk, standing up as she did so. “I’m sick of it!” Just then the door burst open and both girls turned to see their mother standing in the doorway.

“What is going on in here?” demanded Mrs. Evans angrily, glancing between either one of her daughters. Lily hastily dried her eyes with her sleeve and folded her arms tightly over her torso. “Lily, what happened?”

“Oh, it’s always Lily isn’t it?” snapped Petunia. “Never mind how Petunia is because saint Lily’s got a single tear in her eye!” Lily glared at her sister.

“Shut up Petunia”

“Mum and Dad think you’re a freak too.” Petunia said quickly, watching Lily closely for a reaction.

“That’s enough Petunia!” said their mother sharply. "What is it with you tow recently?" Lily put her head in her hands and sighed, trying to calm herself down.

“One week,” she began, her heart beating forcefully against her ribcage. “I just want _one week_ where I’m not forced to feel different to every body else in this bloody family!” she ran a hand though her shoulder length hair in frustration and glared at her sister. “I’ve had enough okay? I’m done!” Angrily rubbing her tears away again, she pushed past her mother and made her way back to her room, grabbing her small shoulder bag sitting on the bed. She then hurried down the stairs, tucking her wand behind her ear as she went.

“Lily-“

“I’ll be back this evening” Lily said loudly over her mum’s voice from upstairs.

“What happened?” Her father appeared from the kitchen and, catching sight of her face, which was no doubt puffy and red, walked towards her with a concerned expression. “Lil what’s wrong?” He gently took her wrists to pull her hands away from her face but she shrugged him off and rushed through the front door before any more tears fell.

Lily knew she was being dramatic. She also couldn’t care less if her family thought so. She wanted to tell them how everything was at school, how nasty whispers floated through the corridors between lessons and how terrible threats were already being thrown around like it didn’t mean anything. Petunia had no idea what it was like. Lily loved the wizarding world but still there had been talk of a war breaking out soon. She wanted to tell her family, she ought to really. But how could she? Her parents had always thought magic was an innocent, childlike thing but they never seemed to wonder if there was a dark side to it at all. Explaining it to them would break their hearts. Lily would hate to see them worry about her for real, life altering reasons rather than her simply being in the presence of boys at school.

 _The Daily Prophet_ had been coming up with horrible articles over the past few weeks too; muggles who had been murdered simply for being there or muggleborns who apparently just happened to be ‘in the wrong place at the wrong time’. Lily wished she still had the same naïve outlook as her family on the wizarding world because at the moment she was dealing with all of this on her own. She hadn’t seen any of her friends for almost the entire summer so she had no one to talk to about it. Not only that but she was the only muggleborn in her group of friends; not that they didn’t always stand up for her and listen to her but they would never know what it was like. It was as if she had been cursed to be different to everybody else, no matter where she went. She just couldn’t escape it.

“Lily!” a distant voice pulled her from her thoughts and she halted abruptly. Spinning around to find the source of the voice, she saw someone running towards her from down the road.  It only took her a moment to realize who it was. _Oh bloody hell not you again_ she thought. _I do not need this right now._ She rolled her eyes and turned in the other direction, quickening her step in an attempt to get away from him. “Lily wait!” Apparently no matter how fast she walked, the rotten slimeball still somehow managed to catch up with her. She felt a hand grab her shoulder and pull her around.

“Don't touch me Snape!” she said heatedly, pushing his hand away from her. He looked at her with sunken eyes and began to fiddle with a hole in his jumper.

“I need to talk to you.” He said, not quite meeting her eye. She rubbed her forehead wearily.

“I don’t think you do _Snivellus_ ” He flinched as she reached up to adjust her wand from behind her ear. This made her feel a little better; he _should_ be scared of her. “I don’t even want to _see_ you let alone talk to you.” She turned away from him and held her wand hand out to the road, as if calling for a taxi.

“You’re summoning the knight bus?”

“Not that it’s any of _your_ business.” She bit angrily, glaring at him as she folded her arms. “Now leave me alone will you?” A spark of what looked like anger flashed across his pallid face.

“Look, Lily you’re making such a big deal out of this! It’s not like-”

“Oh look, here it is!” Lily cut loudly across him, as the electric purple knight bus suddenly roared into view just in front of them. As soon as the doors slid open she rushed inside, giving the bemused conductor the money as she dodged past him. The old mismatched chairs on the bus were randomly placed and there were only a few other people there, all of whom were looking rather disheveled and thrown. One of them, an old black man with a very confused expression, was carefully trying to untangle himself from his cloak, which had been thrown over him from the journey.

“Lily will you just let me talk to you?” Snape called from outside the bus. Lily sat on a blue garden chair with a tired sigh, and didn’t look at him.

“He’s not coming on board” she waved at the puzzled bus conductor. He looked at Snape questioningly.

“You coming or not?” he asked. Lily heard a low murmur from Snape in response and the conductor nodded as the doors slid shut. She caught a brief glimpse of Snape pacing back down the pavement before the bus was whisked away again through a blur of trees and houses. Lily let out a long breath; one she hadn’t realized she had been holding in the first place. She leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees and cupping her head in her hands. This day wasn’t getting off to a good start.

“You’re ticket, love” said the bus conductor who had apparently materialized beside her. She looked up at him and took the ticket he was offering her.

“Thanks” she muttered, giving him an unconvincing smile.

“Where are you off to miss?” He said with an inquiring toothy grin. He had a youthful face and curly brown hair, which he had attempted to stuff into the bus conductors hat sitting precariously on his head. It gave him the look of someone who’d just gotten out of bed in a hurry.

“The Leaky Cauldron, please.” She replied.

“Right-oh” He made his way back through the jumbled seats towards the front of the bus, tripping over an old yellow armchair in the process. Lily returned her head to her hands and closed her eyes. She couldn’t wait to finally see Marlene again; she missed her terribly.

 

* * *

 

“Where the fuck is my jacket?” Sirius threw his clothes around, rummaging for his favourite leather jacket. He had adjusted surprisingly well to moving in to the Potter household; his room was already strewn with clothes and magazines, and the walls were slowly disappearing under a mass of posters. To an outsider, Sirius could’ve lived in this room his whole life; it already felt like it had his personality infused into its long walls. James was presently leaning against one of said walls smirking, waiting to see how long it would take for his best mate to realize where his jacket was.

“You're wearing it Padfoot,” said Remus casually, his arms folded. Sirius looked down to find that he was indeed wearing the jacket. He looked up.

“I knew that.”

“Idiot,” smirked James, shaking his head. He pulled back his sleeve to check his watch. “We should go, Evans and McKinnon will be waiting.” He said, somewhat anxiously.

“Fine” muffled Sirius, before smirking. “You just don’t want to be late for _Lily_ ” James felt his face grow hot.

“It’s just rude to be late.” he answered, messing up his hair. Remus, who was standing behind him, snorted with laughter. _Git._

“Prongs since when have you ever been punctual?” he said, pushing off the wall and coolly walking out of the room.

“When exactly _haven’t_ I been punctual?” demanded James indignantly, following him down the corridor. “I’m always on time.”

“I'm going to have to disagree with you there Prongs” said Sirius, from behind him.

“To be fair, you once missed the whole of transfiguration because you couldn’t find your _quill_ ,” added Peter. James swiveled round to face them, so he was walking backwards.

“Once.” He said holding up his index finger, “I’ve never missed transfiguration since. Minerva would never forgive me if I did”

“I bet you would if _Evans_ asked you to,” teased Sirius with a charming grin.

“Merlin, enough! I don’t fancy her," said James grumpily, spinning back around again.  

“If you say so lover boy” Remus said and the other two boys laughed generously.

“Wankers” James muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Ah, Evans’ll forgive you Prongs,” said Sirius, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “You shouldn’t get so worried about it.”

“I never said I was worried about it,” said James.

“Sure,” replied Remus as they reached the Potters’ entrance hall, “I mean you _did_ ask her out at the most inappropriate moment possible,”

“Okay-“

“And let’s not forget she said she’d rather be with the giant squid than with-“

“Yeah, thank you, for reminding everyone Padfoot”

Sirius and Remus grinned at each other.

“At least you didn’t call her you-know-what” said Peter with a frown. “Snape’s such a greasy git.” James shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Mr. Potter appeared by the door, newspaper tucked under his arm. He glanced at Remus and Peter and frowned.

"Did I adopt two more teenagers in the last hour or did you sneak in through the window without me realising?" 

"Window" Remus grinned. Mr. Potter cracked a smile.

"You all ready to go then?" he said, straightening his cloak.

“Yep” Said Sirius, “just once James here has figured out a way to prove his undying love for Lily” Mr. Potter laughed as James groaned a string of profanities and elbowed a giggling Sirius away from him. 

 

* * *

 

 

“MORNING SUNSHINE!” a pair of hands suddenly grabbed Lily’s shoulders from behind, causing her to ungracefully topple off her stool in surprise.

“Merlin’s pants Marlene!“ She said, pulling herself back up as Marlene laughed. “That’s not funny!” she said, laughing in spite of herself and hitting her friend repeatedly.

“Okay, I’m sorry! Lily stop- I said I’m sorry!” Laughed Marlene, trying to fend off Lily’s attacks. "Stop!"

“Christ, don’t do that again Mar!” Lily said, attempting to get over her initial shock. “If it were anyone else I probably would’ve punched them in the face or something.”

“Ah I’m sorry” Said Marlene, still laughing. Her humour was contagious and Lily found herself laughing too.

“Come here, I haven’t seen you in ages!” Lily reached up and hugged her friend. Marlene then took a seat next to her. She had short chestnut hair which was pulled back into a ponytail. Strands had fallen around her face at the front and she tucked them behind her ear on one side. She had pretty blue eyes and a smile so genuine it was hard not to return it.

“So, how’ve you been Flower?” She asked, propping her elbow on the bar. Just as Lily was about to answer, another voice called out from behind them.

“Lily! Marlene!” Sirius positively bounced towards them, dark hair tied into a messy yet somehow elegant bun at the back of his head. James, Remus and Peter, who were moving at a lesser pace, but with no less enthusiasm, followed him towards them. James' hair was as messy as ever and he'd gotten a little taller over the holidays. His jaw and cheekbones seemed slightly more defined too since she'd last seen him, making him appear older. Remus' lightly freckled face was beaming at the them and his sandy brown hair was wavier than usual. Still, it looked much more elegant than James' jet black abomination. Peter's freckled cheeks were plump and rosy from the summer sun, and his big blue eyes were gleaming happily. Lily had to admit that she wasn’t entirely pissed off at the sight of them; she had missed those boys over the holidays. Only a little, mind. Don’t get any ideas.

“Hey Sirius” she smiled. There was a slight edge to her voice. She still held him partly responsible for what had happened by the lake, and she knew it wasn’t the first time he had gotten involved in this kind of thing. 

"Lovely Lily," he grinned, patting her head before making his way to Marlene.

“How you doing Lily,” said Remus, exchanging a hug with her.

“Not too bad” she shrugged with half a smile. He grinned back, and lightly squeezed her shoulder. Lily noticed how shadowed his eyes looked up close, like he’d been up for hours working on last minute homework. The two long scars over his jaw and across the ridge of his nose were white against the golden glow of his skin. The boys had always told people who asked that the scars had been from an intense and heroic fight with a nasty sphinx when he was ten, and although Lily knew that was a straight up lie, she never pressed the matter. She couldn’t help having theories but it was never something she actively speculated about. 

“Hi Lily!” Waved Peter. He was standing by Sirius and Marlene, who were lightly punching each other by way of greeting. “Have a good summer?”

“Yeah it was fine thanks, you?” He beamed and nodded eagerly.

Finally Lily turned to James. He was leaning on the bar next to her, fiddling with a beer mat. 

“Potter,” she said, pointedly avoiding eye contact. She stared the butter beer bottle in her hand.

“Evans,” he replied, dropping the beer mat on the bar and ruffling his already messy hair with a friendly grin. “I've been meaning to talk to you properly,” his eyes darted down to his feet and before she could answer he began speaking again, very quickly.

“I know I was a complete tosser and I’m not saying that anything has changed; I still am, that's just me. But I really am sorry for what happened that day. And for what I said to you. For a while I was thinking of sending Snivel- Snape a letter or something but I couldn’t bring myself to write one because-“ he faltered for less than a second, “well, honestly the thought of being nice to him after what he said just didn't make any sense to me,” he finished quickly, heaving in a huge breath. "I've decided it's best to just avoid him altogether," he added, scratching his head awkwardly. "For everyone's sake,"

Lily took a couple of seconds to process all the words that had just been fired at her.

“Well, you _are_ a complete tosser, so forgive me for failing to contradict you there.” she began, “But I’ve known you long enough to know that you also have the  _worst_ tact in the entire world”

Even with her eyes averted she could sense him wincing in embarrassment and she tried not to laugh.

“Yeah… I don’t think that was my highest point,” he muttered painfully. 

“But aside from that, I don’t need you, or anyone else for that matter, to try and ‘protect’ me. What Snape said was…” she trailed off and frowned, before shaking her head and trying again. “Look, what I’m trying to say is that I can fight my own battles. I’m perfectly capable of doing that on my own.”

“Oh, I know” he answered seriously; “You’ve more than proved that with the _many_ hexes you’ve sprung on me in the past”

Lily snorted with laughter.

"You had them coming," she said. When he looked up with a grin she finally got a proper view of his face. Her stomach swooped horribly.

“Merlin, what happened?” She reached up and let her fingers hover over the healing scar that now lay faintly across the brown skin of his cheekbone. “Wait, this was from _Snape_?”

It was more of a statement than a question and it came out her mouth much harsher than she’d meant it to. James was caught off guard for a nanosecond. His smile faltered but he swiftly put it back on and casually pushed her hand to the side.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, but Lily could see a glint of resentment in his eyes. She couldn’t help feeling a little queazy. It was like someone had hit her in the chest; hard enough for her to feel it but not enough for it to bruise. She must’ve been pulling a face because James rolled his eyes. “Lily, it’s nothing. I swear.”

"But he cast that curse _weeks_ ago. How is it still showing?" she muttered, frowning.

Lily hated to admit it but sometimes Snape actually scared her, even before they stopped being friends. He had always talked about all these horrible spells that he and his friends had made up, but when she had told him that it sounded like dark magic, he'd never mentioned them again. She wondered whether that curse he'd struck James with was one of his own.

"Lily?"

Still frowning, she looked vaguely back at James, who said nothing but raised a dark eyebrow at her.

"What?" she asked defensively. James looked at her for a moment longer before answering coolly;

“I can fight my own battles too, Evans.”

Lily glared at him. 

“Don't twist my words on me,” She warned and he smirked. She rolled her eyes and turned to the others. “You lot ready to go?” The others nodded in agreement and took up a new conversation as they walked. Sirius was already slurping a bottle of butterbeer, one hand in his leather jacket. The sleeve rose up his arm as he lifted the bottle to his lips, revealing a dull but prominent bruise around his wrist. Lily frowned at it and for the second time, she felt that ache in her chest. Lily’s mind seemed to whir through a whole process of thought in a matter of seconds.

James’ scar, Sirius’ bruise, Remus’ scars.

Each wound flashed back to her mind and pulled something different from each boy. 

Shame. Anger. Fear.

Maybe her chest was beginning to bruise after all, she thought vaguely, as she and her friends made their way towards the brick wall into Diagon Alley.


End file.
